The World’s (Funny As Hell) Perceptions About Australia!

Being an Aussie in the US I had to share this pic and the below Q&A to give you guys a glimpse of some of the more amusing perceptions of Australia that us Aussie’s experience.  These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humor!  Believe it or not I have actually been asked a few of these questions.
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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A:Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
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Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
… Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do…
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Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
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Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from..
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first

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5 Responses to The World’s (Funny As Hell) Perceptions About Australia!

  1. Aimee says:

    Awesome. After returning from 2 weeks in Oz my friends asked if I saw a kangaroo. I know – why the hell were there no kangaroos in downtown Melbourne? What a ripoff! :-)

    Of course I got lots of crazy questions about America when I was down there as well. The media, gotta love how it creates horrendous generalizations about countries (hence why I bug everyone so much to get out and travel!).

    Wish more folks could see Oz but it’s over $2,000 for a plane ticket to get there – double the cost of going to Europe :(

  2. HILARIOUS! Must share:) Cheers! Kaarina

  3. That was brilliant. I could have read a thousand more of your wonderful replies. Someday, I’d like to visit your fine country, but I’ll need to get in better shape before I’m self-confident enough to go to the hippo races.

  4. Michelle says:

    We do have marsupials in the street in Cairns. The wallabies are everywhere in the Northern Beaches area. My boys have to dodge the droppings on their soccer field, because it’s right next to where the wallabies like to hang out.

    I’ve also been asked the question about Christmas from someone in Scotland, but she asked me “What time of the year is Christmas?” and I answered 25 December and she did a face-palm.

    Greetings from a new Twitter follower. I’m from Vancouver originally. Not so far from Seattle, so we’ve done a kind swap!

  5. Yum Yucky says:

    Thanks for setting the record straight. As an avid watcher of National Geographic, they had me believing that map. I swear I just read a book to my kid about killer Dingos. He got it out his school’s library. O_O

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